Don't be shy

Just be you

In the post prior to this one, I mentioned my admiration of Kelly Cutrone. I guess I would consider her my idol. After reading Normal Gets You Nowhere I started to think about who I am as a person and my quirks; you know, the things some people may find odd about you but you absolutely love them about yourself.

Let's see...

I have a ridiculous, obnoxious obsession with Jeopardy.

I STILL sleep with my lifelong teddy bear, Happybear.

I eat the same meals at the same restaurants every time I go.

I'm an OCD cleaner.

I don't like peanut butter, jelly, chili, peanuts and various other foods that most people enjoy.

I'm not a huge fan of chocolate.

I'm very routine.

I don't like sappy, romantic movies. 

I enjoy visiting museums and will visit the same one a dozen times.

I actually like the taste of beer.

Those are just a few. But just those few things make me who I am. They add to my personality and make me unique. 

There is no exact definition of what "normal" is. Normal is whatever you see fit, in my opinion. What I deem as normal may not be what you see as normal. It varies. We as people vary. That's what makes us awesome. 

Be a fruit loop in a world full of cheerios.

That doesn't mean do things to purposely stand out. Be yourself and don't try to do this and that to be like everyone else. Somebody, somewhere loves you for you and see you as normal, so embrace your quirks.

Felt the need to share.

If you know me fairly well, you know that I take some things I read, like meaningful quotes, to heart. Kelly Cutrone speaks to me and I take almost everything she says to heart. I really took her first book If You Have to Cry, Go Outside to heart and her second book, Normal Gets You Nowhere, has now taken over my life.

In her second book she covers various topics like the media, death and friends. Her chapter on friends, called The No Matter What Club, really struck a chord with me and I felt the need to share it with you.

Below are some excerpts (some long, some short) from her friendship chapter that really spoke to me.

"In today's disposable culture, we throw away people like we do razors, always assuming there's someone better out there to hang out with, or to work for--people who will never embarrass us, let us down or offend us."


"The truth is, is if we keep running away from everyone who hurts or betrays us, we will ultimately end up alone. The evidence is mounting that we're suffering a crisis of friendship in our time. A 2006 study found that Americans' average number of confidants dropped one-third between 1984 and 2004 (from three to two). Twenty-five percent of people said they had no one to talk to about important things! They also said they were relying more on their families for support. There's just one problem. As a professor of sociology named Rebecca G. Adams told the New York Times in 2009; 'Friendship has a bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships.' And it's not just our psychological well-being; lack of friends has been linked to higher rates of viral disease, cancer and even death! See it does pay to be popular!"


"The No Matter What Club is a group of people who are progressive, open, fearless, and courageous enough to agree to truly be there for one another, no matter what."


"In America, we tend to think of friends as social companions, people to go to the movies with once or twice a month. But your No Matter What Club is not just a list of people you work, mediate, go shopping, or even have sex with. These are people whose team you're genuinely signing up to be on."


"Social acquaintance is not the same as friend; we need to use phrases like, 'I love you,' 'You're amazing,' 'I'll do anything for you,' and 'You're my new best friend,' appropriately. We shouldn't just throw them out at the hostess when we're trying to get a good table."


"Most of us are too quick to call people friends, too quick to say 'I love you,' and too quick to write people off forever. Instead we need to accept that whoever we decide to truly love and call a friend will inevitably let us down in our lifetime. This is why we should be very exacting in our selection of who will place in our No Matter What Club. The people who love you most will hurt you on some level, whether it's in the immediate future or years down the road. So will your mother (if she hasn't already), your fiance, your husband, and your child. It doesn't make them horrible, worthless, or unredeemable. It just makes them human beings."


This is the main one that hit close to home.

"We when we see people in pain, whether it's from depression, heartbreak, or drugs and alcohol, we tend to back off, reverting to responses like, 'I can't deal with her,' or 'She is so awful when she drinks. I'm done with that.' But if your friend if struggling with depression, alcoholism, an eating disorder, a big breakup, loss of a loved one, paranoia, OCD, ADD--or any of those three-letter diseases we've come to know so well--and you bail on her, then it doesn't matter what you tell yourself: You are not a real friend...


If a friend were having a heart attack, we wouldn't walk out of the room saying, "Oh my God, I can't believe you're writhing on the floor like a total idiot. This is just not acceptable. You'd better stop that or I'll never speak to you again." But when people are suffering spiritual or emotional illness, we tend to kick them to curb instead of loving them back to life."


There are many more in this chapter that spoke to me, but those were the first few.

I strongly recommend reading BOTH of Kelly Cutrone's books. Even if you don't like her abrasive, blunt attitude (which I actually love about her), I PROMISE that you will gain a lot by reading her books but they must be read with an open mind. Her books are by far two of the BEST book I've ever read.